Moving overseas to a new city and few ties has provided us with an amazing opportunity to find a church to call home for the next year. After being in country for three weeks (and visiting a few churches), Liz and I just started to have a conversation about what we are looking for. The list included some preferences and some non-negotiables. They were: a church that was contemporary style and had good teaching, a place where we could get to know people and people could get to know us, a good children's ministry for Philip and Katrise, not too far away, a place we would like to visit on our trips back to the US when we visit ministry partners, in fact a place where there might be people who would like to partner with us in ministry would be a real bonus.
A google search for churches in Littleton provided a bumper crop to choose from. Reading through website after website left me feeling a little like there was little difference between most of them. The statements of faith are fairly generic and many emphasise having an authentic community of people who want to worship Jesus. Most of the larger churches run multiple Sunday morning services, but no evening service (an evening "youth service" is often expected in Sydney).
Last weekend we visited a United Methodist Church with some family members. It was a very well presented building. We were warmly greeted at the door and well looked after by the Children's Ministry receptionist, who directed us to the right rooms for Katrise and Philip. The service featured the first verse of several well-known hymns, and some items - two were done with tymbralls (sp? - little bells) and another was a group of women singing. The auditorium was large - seating at least 500 - and we were at the second of three services for the morning. First time visitors were handed a welcome pack during the service that included a loaf of bannana bread. The senior minister is a woman and they were launching into a series on Paul's journeys as recorded in the book of Acts. Interestingly, she doubted that many of the NT books attributed to Paul were actually written by him. Later, she also scoffed at calling people outside of the church "lost" or "seekers" or "unchurched". She preferred a term from the recovery movement: "normals". (People in the church are "nuts" - never underestimating the spirit). After the service donuts and coffee were available (for a small donation).
This morning we visited a large "community church" (who shall remain nameless). We arrived about five minutes late. But it was a massive, very impressive building. When we entered the lobby there were very clear signs that directed us, as newcomers, where to sign in our kids and where to go. This was just the first sign to me that the church leaders had read (and were closely following) the church growth handbook. This time we arrived for the first service, unsure whether we would attend the worship service or visit an adult Sunday School class. Because we were late we decided just to sneak in the back of the service - after dropping Katrise off at her class and Philip off at his. We arrived in the service just in time to find everyone filling out a church survey (probably like "Reveal" from Willow Creek - it had questions like, "in the past year, have you built an ongoing relationship with a non-believer?" and "do you feel you have grown spiritually in the last year". At the end of this, the worship team led us through two songs - very well performed, but the volume seemed a little muted and, as I looked around, I could barely see anyone else singing along. The auditorium was about the same size as the church from the week before - seating about 500. The sermon was on the question, "Are you an admirer of Jesus, or a follower?". It came from the end of the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 7:13-23 to be precise) - a section of the Bible they had been preaching through for nine months. The preacher (I think it was the senior pastor) referenced his sources well - a commentary on Matthew by Brunner, a story by Ortberg about Blondin, etc. His voice broke a couple of times when he talked about people rejecting Jesus. He finished with a challenge - and about 11 people stood to indicate decisions to truly follow Jesus. In the seat was a visitor's card and the reward for handing it in to the information/welcome desk was a $5 Starbucks voucher. At the end of the service I picked up Katrise and browsed the bookstore in the lobby while waiting for Liz to get Philip. Then we all went and handed over our 50c donation for a donut. We stood around eating it, sitting after a while, but no one seemed to notice us or even smile at us. As we were leaving we ran into a neighbour from the seminary - a friendly face! Still, our reflection after leaving was that they had all the elements but we didn't feel their heart.
At home in the carpark at the seminary we ran into another friend and they told us about a church they were visiting that night. It sounded intriguing, so we decided to join them. Called "Scum of the Earth" (http://www.scumoftheearth.net/) it was definitely a church with a difference. Located on the edge of downtown Denver, it is about 20 minutes drive from our apartment. Their (one) service is held at 6:30pm on Sunday nights. We pulled up on a side street and I wondered if it would be safe to leave our car! Walking up to the front of the building, we passed through a crowd of local smoking - who then followed us into the service. The building was packed! It had been an old church which had been totally gutted and used for who knows what over the last several decades. But the exposed timber rafters and soaring ceiling, gritty floor and four foot drop at the front one third of the church made it really different. There were some cushions cast about on the lower third, and a mix of nice "church chairs" (think movie theatre seats) and old hastily erected portable chairs lined up on the top two thirds. The music was raw, badly amplified, but everyone was singing lustily. After about three songs - with good meaty lyrics, but sung simply - the service broke for dinner for about 15 minutes. Everyone formed a queue and worked their way out to the back to pick up a plate of tortilla, beans, etc. Most finished the food in the main sanctuary (for want of a better term) as the service resumed. A lady pastor, Kim, spoke on the power of forgiveness. It was straight from Luke's gospel (Luke 7) and it followed from a sermon the previous week by a 70 year old guest speaker. After explaining the power of forgiveness in the text, she shared about getting divorced while being a student at Denver Seminary. The seminary had proceedures they were to follow, but actually walked with her through the process in a way that helped her tremendously and allowed her to be at her current place, living out God's calling. It was real, shocking (in some ways) and very powerful. The place was packed full of students (from the local college), locals with tattoos, etc. and it was awesome. We also ran into a visiting group from Campus Crusade. A summer project team of students and staff were working with troubled youth and came to visit the church together. Amazingly, the project director's wife was the sister of Liz's friends she worked with in Indianapolis. Philip and Katrise also did amazingly well to hold it together during the service as there was no child care (no other children about, really). We couldn't ask our kids to do it every week, but Liz and I really enjoyed the style of service and the atmosphere of being around college students again :) Oh, and I should mention that my NT professor Dr Craig Blomberg, attends the church and his wife is on the Church Council, so I am confident they are biblically sound :)
Anyway, my parents are in town next weekend, so I am not sure how much church shopping we will do. We have a couple of other potential churches to check out, but we need to settle somewhere soon.
Monday 15 June 2009
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Nineteen Days in Denver
Whereas the Australian summer was characterised by fires, floods and earthquakes, the past two weeks here have been characterised by cold snaps, hail storms and tornadoes.
We have continued to settle in well. Philip has built a good friendship with Hayden. In fact, last night he joined a "coach pitch" baseball team with Hayden. This is a version of baseball where the coach pitches the ball to the kids, rather than have them hit off a tee or try to pitch to each other. Philip's natural athleticism shone through, of course, as he caught and threw the ball really well. His batting needs some work (since he played tee-ball over the Aussie summer).
He has really enjoyed riding his bike around the grounds of the seminary. He was complaining that the brake handle was too stiff, so I tried it and found out he has no rear brakes! I took it to the bike shop but, being the beginning of summer, they have 10 day turnaround to replace the brake lever. So, knowing Philip couldn't last two weeks without his bike, I booked it in (to take back in a week), but brought it home. Today Philip was still tearing around, even without proper brakes. (The front ones sort of work). He has been accumulating scrapes on his knees and feet, but they haven't stopped him.
Katrise has been working on riding her three wheeled scooter. Initially it was very much a "hop and a step", but her legs seem to have strengthened over the last three days and she really does now "scooter".
Liz's sister, Berit, went out of town for two days, so we minded our niece, Delaney, for two mornings while Dan was at work. Katrise was soooooo excited to have another girl to play with. They did dress up in princess fairy dresses, explored the river bank and brought home leaves and feathers to make a montage.
Philip has also been playing with two boys from Zimbabwe. TC is the older one and together they found a robin's nest with baby birds in it. Philip drew a picture of it in his homeschooling today.
We finally made it to church last weekend. The first weekend we were so jet lagged we slept through the morning. Last week we had the 'flu and couldn't all get ready in time. (Going as half a family to a new church is a bit daunting). So this week we visited the church that Liz's sisters (Berit & Victoria) attend. Next week we are going to begin to check out some other churches. We were going to go to "Waterstone", which is where Katrise is going to pre-school in September, but I just heard that Lee Strobel is speaking at Cherryhills Community Church this Sunday and we may change our plans.
Liz picked up a bike tonight and we are looking forward to going for a ride sometime over the next couple of days. The bike path beside the Platte River is absolutely gorgeous. It runs for about 8 miles, is smooth, wide and level. Not particularly taxing (and has a 15mph speed limit), which makes it all the more enjoyable.
It's been almost 10 years since Liz and I last lived here. There are some remarkable differences that I have noticed between last time and this time. Let me share some with you.
Technology has changed remarkably. When we last lived here, we had a laptop and we dialed into compuserve to send emails to our few friends who also had email. Phone calls were ridiculously expensive.
This time I have a new laptop I am using for study. Liz is using my old one (which used to be her old one). Each room in our apartment (except the bathrooms) has a network plug and so I can plug the laptop into the internet anywhere. (What is more, each of the study desks in the library also has a powerpoint and network plug). And the internet is noticeably faster here than in Sydney.
We bought an option on skype which, for $140 for the year, allows us to call a landline in any of 40 countries around the world for no charge. In the US, that also includes cell phones.
When I received an email this week from our landlord saying that there was a serious plumbing problem at our house, I just jumped on skype, called her and it was sorted out in minutes. I called mum and dad at my uncle's house in England.
We also bought phone numbers in Denver and in Sydney (for $40 each for the year), so that our family and friends can call us without using skype. This has saved us having to have a phone - we just have to have the computer on. (Skype takes voice mail messages if we don't answer).
Of course, there is facebook, this blog and email so that we can share stories, photos and even just our moods with people pretty easily.
The Internet has also allowed me to keep connected to my favourite Aussie sporting team - the Eels. I was able to watch the first State of Origin game and the last couple of Eels games. The distance between continents is shrinking!
We arrived just at the peak of the "garage [emphasis on the second syllable] sale" season here in Colorado. We picked up lots of useful things for the apartment - and a $10 bike for me! One cultural shock came from seeing two SUV's pull up in the driveway of the garage sale and 10 hispanic people jump out, descend on the stuff for sale, pick and pull at it, argue or discuss it in Spanish, approach the seller (who was a bit overwhelmed), make a deal, load up and pull out - around the corner to the next garage sale to do it all again! Liz heard that some people come up from Mexico just for garage sale season in Colorado, and we wouldn't be surprised if that is what we saw! Garage sales here also run on Friday and Saturday - an interesting quirk from Sydney's usual Saturday and Sunday sales.
One interesting thing about our apartment is that it is on the front side of the apartment complex at the seminary. It is close to the main road (Santa Fe) and on the other side of the road is a train line. Every half hour or so, long train loads of coal go rumbling by. We've been getting used to the noise (and can now sleep through the midnight train and the 6am train), but it affects our TV reception. We had been hoping to avoid paying for cable TV while here, but every time a train goes by the reception drops out - often in the middle of an important news story or piece of dialogue or sport.
I've spent hours in the library each day this week. My Hebrew intensive class begins next Monday. So I scheduled a NT Greek exam for this Friday morning. I thought I had better sit the Greek exam before my brain goes to mush trying to study Hebrew! So, I have been reviewing all of last year's Greek so that it is fresh. I am up to speed on 1st and 2nd declension nouns, participles and liquid verbs. If I don't pass the test, I won't be able to do the New Testament subject in the Fall semester that I need. Areas covered by the exam are:
1. All vocabulary words that occur fifty or more times in the Greek N.T.
2. Conjugation of regular verbs in all three persons, singular and plural
3. Ability to parse all verb forms, regular and irregular
4. Explanation of the uses and meaning of verb tenses and moods (except the optative but
including participles and infinitives) and explanation of the various functions of each
5. Ability to decline first and second declension nouns and adjectives
6. Ability to parse third declension noun and adjective forms
7. Identification of various classes of pronouns and their uses
8. Meaning of such details as augments, reduplication, contract verbs, deponent verbs,
articles, etc.
9. Ability to translate the Gospel of John or 1 John–Greek to English.
When a friend heard that I was studying Hebrew this summer he said "Aahh, summer suicide Hebrew" - very encouraging! Then when I bought the textbook from the Seminary bookshop yesterday, the student serving me said, "Oh. Well, good luck." Maybe it will be pretty intense!
With that in mind, I have been also working at getting ahead in one of the other courses I am doing this summer: "Foundations of Teaching and Learning ", with it's textbook "Introduction to Christian Education" by Michael J. Anthony. I thought the course would be mostly about adult Sunday School classes - something that I haven't seen in Sydney. But the course is broader than that. It includes children's classes, small groups, Sunday teaching and any other form of discipleship and training that the church seeks to use to help people grow in their knowledge of and practice of their faith.
The first paper was a two page historical sketch of a person of major influence on Christian Education. My classmates chose John Calvin, Thomas Aquinas and Fredrick Douglass. I chose Henrietta Mears because of her influence on Billy Graham and Bill Bright (founder of Campus Crusade). It was very interesting reading a couple of biographies about her and learning more about the time and culture in which she lived. Her influence, through her adult Sunday school, conferences and Sunday School curriculum was profound and international.
We also have to read an additional 1,000 pages from books other than the prescribed textbook. From the potential reading list, I have chosen:
Gardner, Howard. Multiple Intelligences. New York: Basic Books, 1993.
Gregory, John Milton. The Seven Laws of Teaching. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1956.
Hendricks, Howard. Teaching to Change Lives. Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 1987.
LeFever, Marlene. Learning Styles. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook Publishing, 1995.
Wilkinson, Bruce H. The Seven Laws of the Learner. Sisters: Multnomah Press, 1992.
I've been really looking forward to my parent's arriving on Friday week. They are visiting for 9 days. We miss them already (they've been travelling for about two months), so I don't know how we'll go being away from them for a year! We're looking forward to showing them around where we are living.
Anyway, that's probably too much now for anyone to have read. If you do get this far, drop me an email and let me know - send me the codeword: train :) Thanks.
We have continued to settle in well. Philip has built a good friendship with Hayden. In fact, last night he joined a "coach pitch" baseball team with Hayden. This is a version of baseball where the coach pitches the ball to the kids, rather than have them hit off a tee or try to pitch to each other. Philip's natural athleticism shone through, of course, as he caught and threw the ball really well. His batting needs some work (since he played tee-ball over the Aussie summer).
He has really enjoyed riding his bike around the grounds of the seminary. He was complaining that the brake handle was too stiff, so I tried it and found out he has no rear brakes! I took it to the bike shop but, being the beginning of summer, they have 10 day turnaround to replace the brake lever. So, knowing Philip couldn't last two weeks without his bike, I booked it in (to take back in a week), but brought it home. Today Philip was still tearing around, even without proper brakes. (The front ones sort of work). He has been accumulating scrapes on his knees and feet, but they haven't stopped him.
Katrise has been working on riding her three wheeled scooter. Initially it was very much a "hop and a step", but her legs seem to have strengthened over the last three days and she really does now "scooter".
Liz's sister, Berit, went out of town for two days, so we minded our niece, Delaney, for two mornings while Dan was at work. Katrise was soooooo excited to have another girl to play with. They did dress up in princess fairy dresses, explored the river bank and brought home leaves and feathers to make a montage.
Philip has also been playing with two boys from Zimbabwe. TC is the older one and together they found a robin's nest with baby birds in it. Philip drew a picture of it in his homeschooling today.
We finally made it to church last weekend. The first weekend we were so jet lagged we slept through the morning. Last week we had the 'flu and couldn't all get ready in time. (Going as half a family to a new church is a bit daunting). So this week we visited the church that Liz's sisters (Berit & Victoria) attend. Next week we are going to begin to check out some other churches. We were going to go to "Waterstone", which is where Katrise is going to pre-school in September, but I just heard that Lee Strobel is speaking at Cherryhills Community Church this Sunday and we may change our plans.
Liz picked up a bike tonight and we are looking forward to going for a ride sometime over the next couple of days. The bike path beside the Platte River is absolutely gorgeous. It runs for about 8 miles, is smooth, wide and level. Not particularly taxing (and has a 15mph speed limit), which makes it all the more enjoyable.
It's been almost 10 years since Liz and I last lived here. There are some remarkable differences that I have noticed between last time and this time. Let me share some with you.
Technology has changed remarkably. When we last lived here, we had a laptop and we dialed into compuserve to send emails to our few friends who also had email. Phone calls were ridiculously expensive.
This time I have a new laptop I am using for study. Liz is using my old one (which used to be her old one). Each room in our apartment (except the bathrooms) has a network plug and so I can plug the laptop into the internet anywhere. (What is more, each of the study desks in the library also has a powerpoint and network plug). And the internet is noticeably faster here than in Sydney.
We bought an option on skype which, for $140 for the year, allows us to call a landline in any of 40 countries around the world for no charge. In the US, that also includes cell phones.
When I received an email this week from our landlord saying that there was a serious plumbing problem at our house, I just jumped on skype, called her and it was sorted out in minutes. I called mum and dad at my uncle's house in England.
We also bought phone numbers in Denver and in Sydney (for $40 each for the year), so that our family and friends can call us without using skype. This has saved us having to have a phone - we just have to have the computer on. (Skype takes voice mail messages if we don't answer).
Of course, there is facebook, this blog and email so that we can share stories, photos and even just our moods with people pretty easily.
The Internet has also allowed me to keep connected to my favourite Aussie sporting team - the Eels. I was able to watch the first State of Origin game and the last couple of Eels games. The distance between continents is shrinking!
We arrived just at the peak of the "garage [emphasis on the second syllable] sale" season here in Colorado. We picked up lots of useful things for the apartment - and a $10 bike for me! One cultural shock came from seeing two SUV's pull up in the driveway of the garage sale and 10 hispanic people jump out, descend on the stuff for sale, pick and pull at it, argue or discuss it in Spanish, approach the seller (who was a bit overwhelmed), make a deal, load up and pull out - around the corner to the next garage sale to do it all again! Liz heard that some people come up from Mexico just for garage sale season in Colorado, and we wouldn't be surprised if that is what we saw! Garage sales here also run on Friday and Saturday - an interesting quirk from Sydney's usual Saturday and Sunday sales.
One interesting thing about our apartment is that it is on the front side of the apartment complex at the seminary. It is close to the main road (Santa Fe) and on the other side of the road is a train line. Every half hour or so, long train loads of coal go rumbling by. We've been getting used to the noise (and can now sleep through the midnight train and the 6am train), but it affects our TV reception. We had been hoping to avoid paying for cable TV while here, but every time a train goes by the reception drops out - often in the middle of an important news story or piece of dialogue or sport.
I've spent hours in the library each day this week. My Hebrew intensive class begins next Monday. So I scheduled a NT Greek exam for this Friday morning. I thought I had better sit the Greek exam before my brain goes to mush trying to study Hebrew! So, I have been reviewing all of last year's Greek so that it is fresh. I am up to speed on 1st and 2nd declension nouns, participles and liquid verbs. If I don't pass the test, I won't be able to do the New Testament subject in the Fall semester that I need. Areas covered by the exam are:
1. All vocabulary words that occur fifty or more times in the Greek N.T.
2. Conjugation of regular verbs in all three persons, singular and plural
3. Ability to parse all verb forms, regular and irregular
4. Explanation of the uses and meaning of verb tenses and moods (except the optative but
including participles and infinitives) and explanation of the various functions of each
5. Ability to decline first and second declension nouns and adjectives
6. Ability to parse third declension noun and adjective forms
7. Identification of various classes of pronouns and their uses
8. Meaning of such details as augments, reduplication, contract verbs, deponent verbs,
articles, etc.
9. Ability to translate the Gospel of John or 1 John–Greek to English.
When a friend heard that I was studying Hebrew this summer he said "Aahh, summer suicide Hebrew" - very encouraging! Then when I bought the textbook from the Seminary bookshop yesterday, the student serving me said, "Oh. Well, good luck." Maybe it will be pretty intense!
With that in mind, I have been also working at getting ahead in one of the other courses I am doing this summer: "Foundations of Teaching and Learning ", with it's textbook "Introduction to Christian Education" by Michael J. Anthony. I thought the course would be mostly about adult Sunday School classes - something that I haven't seen in Sydney. But the course is broader than that. It includes children's classes, small groups, Sunday teaching and any other form of discipleship and training that the church seeks to use to help people grow in their knowledge of and practice of their faith.
The first paper was a two page historical sketch of a person of major influence on Christian Education. My classmates chose John Calvin, Thomas Aquinas and Fredrick Douglass. I chose Henrietta Mears because of her influence on Billy Graham and Bill Bright (founder of Campus Crusade). It was very interesting reading a couple of biographies about her and learning more about the time and culture in which she lived. Her influence, through her adult Sunday school, conferences and Sunday School curriculum was profound and international.
We also have to read an additional 1,000 pages from books other than the prescribed textbook. From the potential reading list, I have chosen:
Gardner, Howard. Multiple Intelligences. New York: Basic Books, 1993.
Gregory, John Milton. The Seven Laws of Teaching. Grand Rapids: Baker, 1956.
Hendricks, Howard. Teaching to Change Lives. Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 1987.
LeFever, Marlene. Learning Styles. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook Publishing, 1995.
Wilkinson, Bruce H. The Seven Laws of the Learner. Sisters: Multnomah Press, 1992.
I've been really looking forward to my parent's arriving on Friday week. They are visiting for 9 days. We miss them already (they've been travelling for about two months), so I don't know how we'll go being away from them for a year! We're looking forward to showing them around where we are living.
Anyway, that's probably too much now for anyone to have read. If you do get this far, drop me an email and let me know - send me the codeword: train :) Thanks.
Monday 1 June 2009
Sex & Professional Footballers
A few weeks ago the "group sex" incident involving Matthew Johns was headline news. That was only the peak of a much larger story that had been brewing for a while, and continues to bubble along. I saw a headline on the weekend that one woman in Melbourne claims to have slept with between 150 and 200 AFL players.
The discussion seems to have formed into two arguments. The first is that Rugby League players (and other professional sports persons) do not respect women, and such aberrant sexual behaviour is evidence of that. The defense from the players is that these women are consenting adults and, in many cases, initiate the sexual encounter.
Now, as a Christian, I am convinced that any sex outside of a marriage relationship demeans both parties (consenting or otherwise) and is offensive to God. But leaving aside what some might say is a high standard, let's look at this issue from a secular perspective.
The fundamental principle that these professional footballers need to get into their heads is that they are in privileged positions. They have celebrity and money that sets them apart from other guys their age. I've been in the pub and night club scene enough to know that most guys don't have women throwing themselves at them. If these guys do, it should be a clue that they have something that most guys don't. Because of their positions as players, they have power.
Now, power positions are not uncommon in our society. And there are fairly well established ethics for dealing with them. An academic is banned by their university ethics from sleeping with a student (even if they are a "consenting adult"). A company would look very seriously at an executive who had a "one-night stand" with an employee.
The unequal power relationships that exist in the university and in the company have a fairly limited scope. The unequal power relationships that exist for people with public profile extend much further. In the case of footballers, it extends to women they meet in the night club.
Does this mean that footballers, etc. are doomed to an eternal life of singleness or chastity? Again, the illustrations from above are informative. A relationship which communicates respect to the lower-powered person is one which takes into account their best interests. A footballer can "date" a girl he meets in a nightclub, but he needs to ensure that she is an equal party in the relationship. Using his power position for his own pleasure is abuse. That means no sex on (at least) the first date. Get to know the woman first! Abusing women for your own sexual pleasure is not a manly thing to do.
What about these women who act like the sexual predator? The ones who take the initiative with footballer and only have one thing on their mind? The short answer is that they are psychologically damaged. No normal, healthy person does that. I am not surprised that the NZ woman seemed willing at the time of the Matthew John's incident but then went on to attempt suicide in the future. These sort of women are looking to fill deep psychological needs in disturbing and damaging ways. Any real man who encountered a woman like that would seek to protect her from herself, rather than take advantage of her brokeness.
And at the end of the day, that is the main point. Anyone in a position of power has the choice whether to abuse it or use it for the good of others. Footballers need to realise that they can act to protect women or abuse them. Of course, true protection comes when sex is used to express that unique love that a husband has for his wife.
The discussion seems to have formed into two arguments. The first is that Rugby League players (and other professional sports persons) do not respect women, and such aberrant sexual behaviour is evidence of that. The defense from the players is that these women are consenting adults and, in many cases, initiate the sexual encounter.
Now, as a Christian, I am convinced that any sex outside of a marriage relationship demeans both parties (consenting or otherwise) and is offensive to God. But leaving aside what some might say is a high standard, let's look at this issue from a secular perspective.
The fundamental principle that these professional footballers need to get into their heads is that they are in privileged positions. They have celebrity and money that sets them apart from other guys their age. I've been in the pub and night club scene enough to know that most guys don't have women throwing themselves at them. If these guys do, it should be a clue that they have something that most guys don't. Because of their positions as players, they have power.
Now, power positions are not uncommon in our society. And there are fairly well established ethics for dealing with them. An academic is banned by their university ethics from sleeping with a student (even if they are a "consenting adult"). A company would look very seriously at an executive who had a "one-night stand" with an employee.
The unequal power relationships that exist in the university and in the company have a fairly limited scope. The unequal power relationships that exist for people with public profile extend much further. In the case of footballers, it extends to women they meet in the night club.
Does this mean that footballers, etc. are doomed to an eternal life of singleness or chastity? Again, the illustrations from above are informative. A relationship which communicates respect to the lower-powered person is one which takes into account their best interests. A footballer can "date" a girl he meets in a nightclub, but he needs to ensure that she is an equal party in the relationship. Using his power position for his own pleasure is abuse. That means no sex on (at least) the first date. Get to know the woman first! Abusing women for your own sexual pleasure is not a manly thing to do.
What about these women who act like the sexual predator? The ones who take the initiative with footballer and only have one thing on their mind? The short answer is that they are psychologically damaged. No normal, healthy person does that. I am not surprised that the NZ woman seemed willing at the time of the Matthew John's incident but then went on to attempt suicide in the future. These sort of women are looking to fill deep psychological needs in disturbing and damaging ways. Any real man who encountered a woman like that would seek to protect her from herself, rather than take advantage of her brokeness.
And at the end of the day, that is the main point. Anyone in a position of power has the choice whether to abuse it or use it for the good of others. Footballers need to realise that they can act to protect women or abuse them. Of course, true protection comes when sex is used to express that unique love that a husband has for his wife.
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