Sex & Professional Footballers

A few weeks ago the "group sex" incident involving Matthew Johns was headline news. That was only the peak of a much larger story that had been brewing for a while, and continues to bubble along. I saw a headline on the weekend that one woman in Melbourne claims to have slept with between 150 and 200 AFL players.

The discussion seems to have formed into two arguments. The first is that Rugby League players (and other professional sports persons) do not respect women, and such aberrant sexual behaviour is evidence of that. The defense from the players is that these women are consenting adults and, in many cases, initiate the sexual encounter.

Now, as a Christian, I am convinced that any sex outside of a marriage relationship demeans both parties (consenting or otherwise) and is offensive to God. But leaving aside what some might say is a high standard, let's look at this issue from a secular perspective.

The fundamental principle that these professional footballers need to get into their heads is that they are in privileged positions. They have celebrity and money that sets them apart from other guys their age. I've been in the pub and night club scene enough to know that most guys don't have women throwing themselves at them. If these guys do, it should be a clue that they have something that most guys don't. Because of their positions as players, they have power.

Now, power positions are not uncommon in our society. And there are fairly well established ethics for dealing with them. An academic is banned by their university ethics from sleeping with a student (even if they are a "consenting adult"). A company would look very seriously at an executive who had a "one-night stand" with an employee.

The unequal power relationships that exist in the university and in the company have a fairly limited scope. The unequal power relationships that exist for people with public profile extend much further. In the case of footballers, it extends to women they meet in the night club.

Does this mean that footballers, etc. are doomed to an eternal life of singleness or chastity? Again, the illustrations from above are informative. A relationship which communicates respect to the lower-powered person is one which takes into account their best interests. A footballer can "date" a girl he meets in a nightclub, but he needs to ensure that she is an equal party in the relationship. Using his power position for his own pleasure is abuse. That means no sex on (at least) the first date. Get to know the woman first! Abusing women for your own sexual pleasure is not a manly thing to do.

What about these women who act like the sexual predator? The ones who take the initiative with footballer and only have one thing on their mind? The short answer is that they are psychologically damaged. No normal, healthy person does that. I am not surprised that the NZ woman seemed willing at the time of the Matthew John's incident but then went on to attempt suicide in the future. These sort of women are looking to fill deep psychological needs in disturbing and damaging ways. Any real man who encountered a woman like that would seek to protect her from herself, rather than take advantage of her brokeness.

And at the end of the day, that is the main point. Anyone in a position of power has the choice whether to abuse it or use it for the good of others. Footballers need to realise that they can act to protect women or abuse them. Of course, true protection comes when sex is used to express that unique love that a husband has for his wife.